It’s easy to see why this would be a huge win. Strengthening your relationship is clearly always a good thing — plus it can help protect you against complacency, make you more open to compromise during a disagreement, and help you stay devoted to each other. When you feel connected, everything is better in your relationship.
In the following two studies, the researchers tried to delve deeper into the motivations and understand why people who fantasize about their partner are more drawn toward strengthening their relationship. They asked participants to track their fantasies and their relationship interactions for either three weeks or six weeks, including any feelings they were having about the relationship, positive or negative.
Fantasizing about their partner was found to make that partner appear more appealing, which may not be a surprise. Not only that, it also had another benefit — negative perceptions about the relationship also decreased when participants fantasized about their partner. In that way, fantasies helped create an almost cyclical effect: you start to view your partner as more attractive and feel more positive about the relationship, which gives you more to fantasize about, and the cycle continues.