How we view cheating
Sharma adds an important aspect of the dialogue of infidelity that’s often left out is how we classify cheaters. She argues anyone can be a cheater.
“We like to think we would never cheat or it would never happen to me,” she says. “But that’s not how it works. Sometimes because of the situation… it can happen.”
She adds while most people can regulate themselves if they feel “tempted,” we’re all still human beings who have the capacity to be unfaithful.
Others, like Mira Kirshenbaum, a couples counsellor and the author of When Good People Have Affairs, argues cheating can even be good for a marriage.
“They’re a wake-up call. They tell you there’s something seriously wrong here [and] you can’t go on with business as usual,” she told Time. “And if you really listen and you take that seriously and act on it, then you have an opportunity to make something wonderful happen.”
Sharma says cheaters are just making emotional decisions, and may not really care about the harm they are causing.
“The vast majority of people have something psychological that is driving them to do it, not because they are ‘good’ or ‘bad.’”